What drives you on
by Quitting Time
Summary: I originally wrote this as a one shot detailing detailing the tragic result of Jade's possessive and abusive relationship with Tori. But I never felt right leaving it on a sad note. So I wrote another chapter and gave it a more uplifiting and happy ending. A Jori Story, which is about abuse and redemption.
1. The Only way out

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**What drives you on..**

**Chapter 1 - The only way out.**

**This is a tale of abuse, guilt and ultimately redemption. **

**No One's POV**

As Jade drove up the long driveway to the house, she glimpsed movement in one of the upstairs windows of the brightly lit house. It was a large old grey farmhouse and Jade had bought it for 3 principal reasons. It was cheap being in foreclosure when she bought it. It was large and solidly built having been constructed in the 1890's.

The third reason was the most important to Jade. It was extremely isolated. It was far into the country and the nearest town was over 15 miles away. The nearest neighbor was over 5 miles away. Jade liked that. She could control Tori better when she was isolated.

Control the one word, the one thing that her twisted psyche craved most of all. Tori had fallen under her spell so to speak in high school. It started out with small trysts in the broom closet. Jade only giving enough to make Tori want more. Bites and scratch marks would soon appear all over Tori's body. She would ignore the Latina for days on end just to make the Latina crave her more.

Jade was always in control. Beck had a backbone and resisted too much, so she eventually got tired of him. Jade laughed, when she thought how Beck attempted to warn Tori about Jade. She had overheard it one day in the hall.

"_Don't get involved with Jade. You don't know what she's really like."_

_Tori stood her ground. "I know what I'm doing." _

_Beck sadly shook his head. "It's your funeral" he quipped. _

By that time it was too late for Tori anyway. Tori was in love with her and would do anything for her. Tolerate the scratches, the bruises, the degradation and all the other punishments for disobedience. All in the hopes of hearing the 3 words Tori craved to hear.

"I love you"

Jade loved Tori in her own way, but in a way one would love a vintage car or other prized possession. But saying those words would mean to Jade, a certain loss of control so she never once uttered them. Jade would give the now subservient Latina, just enough to keep her going. Just enough hope to think it was all worth while.

"The house better be clean" Jade muttered, as her Porsche zoomed up the driveway.

After college, Jade became a best selling horror novelist. Critics kept saying how dark and imaginative she was. Tori just became Jade's most prized possession.

Her friends Cat, Andre, Robbie all tried to get Tori away from Jade. They all tried talking to her, trying to build up her confidence. To get her to realize she was her own person who could still be a pop star.

Jade had long since crushed those dreams of Tori's. The only dreams she had now, were the ones that Jade allowed.

Her friends eventually gave up, having banged their head against the wall time and time again.

Jade had seen to it that Tori cut off contact with her family. It took some doing but eventually she wore down the family bonds and was able to sever them. Jade couldn't tolerate Tori depending on anyone but her.

Jade parked her car in what used to be the barn of the property. It housed her two other cars. The keys of course were safely locked up, so Tori could not use them.

As Jade got out of the car she reflected on how easy it was to bend the Latina to her will. To make Vega her sexual plaything. Vega had withstood all the punishment that Jade had dealt out. Of course small amounts of caring and tenderness to soothe and placate her were needed. The right balance of Carrot and very large stick to keep her in line.

Jade emerged from the barn and stared at the house. The figure she saw in the window was no longer there. The house was brightly lit and looked warm and inviting.

"It's good to be home." Jade said to herself after coming back from a several day business trip. She was also excited as she had some new whips and other toys to use on her pet.

That's what Jade called Tori mostly

"My Pet" It was a phrase that Jade would almost say affectionately.

Occasionally Vega, she could call her, and only Victoria when she was very angry.

Tori had learned that when Jade Said Victoria, she had displeased Jade and would be punished. Tori had grown to hate her name in that respect.

Jade looked at the house again and huffed in annoyance.

"Why is every god dam light it the hose on." Jade muttered.

Jade made a mental note to punish the Latina for wasting her electricity as she walked towards the house.

She unlocked the door and entered the house.

The first thing she noticed was the smell of freshly baked bread. It was a smell that matched the warm and inviting look of the house. It brought a smile to the Goth's face.

Jade loved Tori's bread. It was one of the few things that Jade allowed herself to compliment Tori on.

"Hello" Jade called out.

Jade frowned as there was no response. After she put her coat in the closet she looked around to see if Tori had done her assigned duties.

The first few rooms were spotless, even more than usual Jade thought. Every window was cleaned, every bit of dust was gone, every bit of metal polished. In fact the house looked absolutely perfect.

"For once she did a decent Job." Jade mused, as she headed upstairs to find her pet.

The upstairs was just as clean if not more than downstairs. The bed was made to absolute perfection, even the window blinds had been cleaned. Not a speck of dust was to been seen anywhere.

"Tori" Jade called out.

Again there was no response.

Jade gritted her teeth. She had to be here, Jade thought as her anger began to rise. She had seen Tori in the upstairs window as she entered the driveway.

"Kitchen" Jade said to herself. The house was big and solidly built. Noise and voices didn't carry very well from room to room. Another feature Jade particularly liked.

Jade entered the kitchen. It was spotless; however she saw two loaves of bread cooling on a rack on the counter. They were slightly warm to the touch. A note was on the table next to a place perfectly set for one.

"I made your favorite Lasagna. It's warming in the oven."

"Tori" Jade yelled out.

"If she tried to get away, I swear to god I make her regret it forever." Jade fumed.

"Victoria" She yelled out.

"Fuck" Jade said to herself, as she pulled out her phone to see if Tori had escaped to Cat's.

But before she could dial she saw a light on in the basement.

"She's in the basement." Jade said to herself. Jade made a fist and headed to the basement stairs.

Jade stormed down the basement steps. "Tori Vega, I've been calling for you and when I call you I expect you to answer god dam…"

She stopped in mid sentence, when she noticed three things.

An old wooden chair was sitting in the middle of the floor of the basement on its side. Moving gently back and forth over the chair was a shadow.

Jade sank to her knees and her hands began to shake, when she saw what was casting the shadow.

It was Tori.

She was in her very favorite dress, a blue one that Jade had gotten for her birthday very early in their relationship. Her hair was done perfectly, curled and looking very pretty. She in fact looked extremely pretty. The smell of Tori's favorite perfume lingered in the air. It looked like she was set to go out on a night on the town.

Jade numbly looked up at her pet, who was swinging gradually back and fourth from a large oak rafter. A rope was tied around the rafter and also onto Tori's neck. The Latina's head was at an unusual angle.

Jade looked at her dead girlfriend in horror.

It was the eyes that shook Jade the most, they were still open. As Tori swung gradually back and fourth, the eyes somehow seemed to stare at the quivering Goth who was still on the floor. Those dead eyes seemed to pierce straight into Jade's dark twisted soul.

Jades mouth opened up as if to scream, but no sound came out.

It was then Jade noticed a note on the floor near where she was kneeling.

Her hand's still shaking Jade picked it up.

"_Dearest Jade._

_All I ever wanted, is you to love me. I gave you all I had and now I have nothing left to give you. I can't give anymore, I can't take it anymore, for I know you will never utter the three words to me, that I have always wanted to hear. You wanted to break me and you got your wish. My only recourse, is to embrace the arms of a lover even more possessive than you. Death._

_Good bye and All my love._

_Tori."_

A single tear was followed quickly by another and then slowly a torrent of then poured from Jade's face, as she looked up at the now dead body of the woman she had so utterly broken.

It was at that second something broke inside of her. Her need to control the thing she loved most, destroyed the thing she loved most. That knowledge, caused her mind to simply snap.

As Jade uncontrollably sobbed, she was barely aware of the police sirens and the banging at the door. A few moments later there was a crash, as the back door was kicked in by the police. Tori had called the police, saying there had been a suicide and the police needed to come right away. Tori had waited to see Jade's car in the driveway, called the police and promptly hung herself.

The police found Jade in the basement of her home. She was uncontrollably sobbing and apologizing to Tori; talking to her as if she was alive.

"I'll take you on a trip, all those places you wanted to go."

Jade paused as if she was getting an answer.

"We can go there too Tori, We can even bring Cat. She'll enjoy it."

Jade nodded at the corpse.

"Just as long as were together Tori because I love you."

It became clear to the officers on the scene, that Jade has suffered a complete nervous breakdown seeing her girlfriend's corpse hanging from the ceiling.

As the cops pulled down Tori's body, Jade just kept talking to her. Using all the kind words and compliments that Tori craved so much when she was alive.

"I lover her, she knows it and She's waiting for me at home." The Goth would cheerfully tell the nurses and attendants at the mental institution, where she was eventually placed.

**"What drives you on can drive you mad." **

**Garbage from the song "Stupid Girl"**

**I read the 50 shades of Jade story which in my opinion was very good and decided to make my own little take on it. But with a much darker ending. **

**I have since added a 2nd chapter with a new lighter ending.**


	2. Aftermath and the afterlife

**Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.**

**What drives you on.**

**Chapter 2 – Aftermath and the Afterlife.**

**No One's POV.**

Cat always felt a stab of pain in her heart when she thought of that day. That terrible day where she learned of her friend Tori's suicide and Jade's subsequent mental breakdown. They all knew Jade was possessive when it came to Tori and they knew what Jade was doing to her behind closed doors. But they could do nothing to stop it.

So no one could blame Tori for hanging herself in the basement, though they wished there could have been another way. Tori's family and friends were quick to blame and demonize Jade for the end result. Andre even lamented that Jade would spend her time in a hospital and not a prison where she deserved.

Cat always suspected that it was Andre, who leaked the details to the press that novelist Jade West's abuse, drove her girlfriend Tori to suicide. It touched off a scandal. Jade of course could not fight back the charges as she had been confined to an insane asylum. The weight of the guilt of what she had done, had crushed what had remained of her sanity. She simply refused to accept that her beloved Tori was dead. Of course she could not heap enough praise on the Beautiful Latina. She would tell the nurses and attendants that her beautiful, loving, wonderful, kind girlfriend was waiting at home for her.

Cat was the only one who would not condemn Jade. She just wanted to know what went so wrong. So a few weeks after the incident it was decided that the house needed to be cleared out so I could be sold. No one else wanting to, Cat volunteered both her and her husband Robbie. She even managed to goad Beck into helping, though neither Robbie or Beck really wanted to. But Cat could be very persuasive.

Tori had cleaned the house top to bottom before she killed herself so no actual cleaning was needed. Only disposing of junk and organizing the stuff that needed to be sold. The rest would be sent to Tori's family.

It was a sad task going through the house. Cat could only cry when she found the closet where Jade kept they Toys she would use on Tori. Angry, Beck took the whole lot of whips and other devices of torture and burned them in the back yard. He took care to douse all of it in gasoline before lighting it up so nothing would remain.

Having to go through the house only made Robbie and Beck hate Jade more. Cat only could wonder what happened. One day, Robbie and Beck took a trailer full of old junk to the dump. But the nearest dump was an hour away. So they left Cat alone in the big house as the first rumblings of thunderstorm could be heard in the distance.

Cat had just made some tea and was about to sit down when she remembered a locked box she had found earlier. The box was metal and not terribly big, but it had weight. Wanting to know what was inside ,she took a hammer and pounded the lock until it broke.

Inside were books, diaries actually. Some were new and some looked old. There was at least 20. Cat pulled one out and began to read, it was in jade's handwriting. She had never known Jade kept a dairy. It would seem a violation of Jade's privacy, but she hoped in these books she would find the answered she was seeking.

So she took the box to the living room and as the first drops of rain hit the window began to read the oldest diary, which was noted that Jade got for her 5th birthday.

Robbie and Beck returned from the dump almost 3 hour's later. They would have been back sooner but they stopped and picked up some pizza. There they found Cat still reading the dairies. But the thing that concerned them was the look of profound sadness on Cat's face. In fact it appeared that she was crying.

"What's wrong, Honey?" Robbie said rushing to Cat's side. "What are these books?"

Wiping a tear. "Jade's dairies."

"Burn them!" Beck spat out.

Cat quickly stood up. "No….I understand now. I understand what happened. Jade is as much, if not more a victim, than Tori was."

"What are you talking about?" Asked Robbie as she examined one of the dairies.

Cat sad back down and wiped another tear. "Jade couldn't help herself. She wasn't born a monster, she was made into one. Once she was a happy girl that loved to act and put on little skits for her friends. But that was until…" Cat said, letting her voice trail off.

"Until what?" Asked Beck.

Cat sighed. "From the age of 5 until she was 14 she was repeatedly physically, emotionally and sexually abused almost daily."

Both Robbie and Beck looked shocked. But it was Robbie that spoke first. "What! Her dad?"

Cat shook her head. "No, he was a workaholic and emotionally distant but never did anything to harm Jade. It was her mother. These dairies document every single thing that that woman did to Jade. It's horrible."

Robbie opened the book he was holding and read a page. His face quickly distorted with disgust and he quickly closed it. "Oh my god."

The look of anger on Beck's face quickly faded. "I knew Jade hated her mother, I really didn't know why. She was always so nice to me."

"She was a sick, demented, evil woman. For years she tortured and raped Jade, twisting her soul into the dark thing it had become. The thing is, that reading the later diaries, Jade truly loved Tori. I can tell it. But her psyche was so twisted, that she was incapable of expressing it in a healthy manner."

There was a moment of sad silence, which was finally broken by Cat. "I'll give these to her doctor, maybe the information in there can help her. But I don't think it will, she's pretty far gone."

Suddenly a realization came to Beck. "Wait, I know Jade's father is dead, but isn't her mother trying to get control of Jade's assets. Jade has lots of money, from all the horror novels she wrote."

Cat held up one of the diaries. "Thanks to these, that witch won't get a cent. I was her best friend. I'm going to gain control of her estate."

With the new found revelation, the group and Tori's family came to understand Jade's condition. She loved Tori but had been so badly abused she was incapable of showing her love in any other form, but abuse. Instead of being hated Jade was pitied and forgiven. They all knew she was not responsible for her actions.

With the Vega's families help, Cat managed to gain control of Jade's assets. With the money, Cat set up a charitable trust dedicated to helping abused children. In hopes that Jades money, would help other children avoid the same fate Jade did.

Off all her former friends, Cat was the most faithful visitor to Jade in the asylum. The visits were sad, but Cat as a true friend kept coming.. Each time Jade would tell Cat how Tori was waiting at home, while she was getting well in the hospital. Cat would have to make up news, as to what Tori was doing. She even told Jade that Tori went back into singing and became a world famous pop star. That pleased Jade to no end. At Christmas time she would buy Jade presents and say they were from Tori.

At the age of 48, after 20 years of confinement Jade developed cancer. It tore through Jade's body like a wild fire through a tinder dry forest. Soon enough the Goth was on her deathbed, her once white skin now a sickly grey color. In those last few days, Jade started to have conversations with Tori as if the Latina was there. They spoke of wonderful times they never really had.

One day Jade was very silent for a long time. She appeared to be thinking. The only sound in the room was the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

Eventually she turned and looked at Cat who was sitting next to the bed.

"Cat?" Jade said in a weak barely audible voice.

Cat leaned forward. "Yes Jade?"

For a moment there was a clear look in Jade's eyes, one that Cat hadn't seen in many many years. But it was filled with sadness.

"Do you think Tori will ever forgive me?" Jade said, as a tear ran down her face.

Before Cat could answer, she was distracted by the clatter of a tray being dropped somewhere out in the hallway.

When Cat looked back to answer, she could see Jade's eyes were closed. The once steady beep of the heart monitor was replaced by a single solemn tone. Jade was dead.

Cat was both saddened and relieved; Jade's torturous life was now over. Cat also realized that that one time was the only time since her confinement that Jade ever was able to acknowledge the things she had done.

Being an successful actress herself for many years, Cat could only think of one thing to say. It was a quote from Hamlet. Cat whispered it, as she kissed Jade on the forehead.

"Good-night sweet Prince and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

* * *

Jade found herself standing on a small path at the entrance to rich luscious forest. It was morning and dew still clung to the grass as the birds started their morning song. She was young again, raven black hair, pale skin, once again she felt the energy and flow of youth. Looking down she was wearing a long black flowing dress.

More importantly Jade felt different. As if someone took her twisted soul and unknotted it. The dark desires that once populated her mind where gone. She could remember the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother, but it now longer affected her as it once did.

But Jade could still feel the crushing guilt for all that she had done. It reminded on her soul like a stubborn stain that would not come out. Though untwisted her soul felt sickly, stained and weak.

But her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a distant melody being lightly sung. Jade knew instantly whose voice that was and like the call of a Siren she was drawn to it. Through the forest path she walked following the melody.

A few moments later as the last notes of the melody faded away, Jade came out of the forest onto a meadow over looking a placid Lake. Jade could see a family of ducks swimming lazily about on the lakes surface. In the center of the meadow was a huge white rock. It was the size of a large automobile. Sitting on top of the rock staring peacefully at the lake was Tori.

As Jade approached she was marveled at her appearance. She appeared in long flowing white dress, as she did the first day she met Jade. Her beauty was stunning.

Once again Jade was filled with the guilt she carried and fell to her knees at the base of the rock and looked to the ground in shame. She felt unworthy of being in Tori's presence and didn't even make a noise to call attention to herself.

Jade made a vow to remain here on this spot, until the day where Tori would forgive her. Even it took forever.

After a moment Jade heard Tori's Voice. "Jade, why aren't you sitting with me. I've been waiting for you." Jade could hear the note of concern in her voice.

Jade lowered her head further. "I'm here until you forgive me. I'm not sure if you even could and I wouldn't blame you for not doing so. I hurt you Tori, I more than hurt you I destroyed you."

Jade could hear Tori audibly sigh. "Jade, I can see things. I know what was done to you. You weren't responsible for your actions. You loved me, but you never knew how to express it without harming me. I've long since forgiven you. Please sit with me."

Still feeling undeserving, but not wanting to refuse Tori's request, Jade climbed up onto the rock and sat next to Tori. It was hard for her to believe that Tori's forgiveness would come so easily and she felt a tiny bit better. But still she couldn't look the Latina in the eyes.

"You still feel so undeserving of me that you can't even look me in the eye?" Tori asked.

"Yes, when you disobeyed me, I would make you suffer. Though that desire is gone, I steal carry the weight of the guilt. How could you love me?"

Jade felt Tori slip her fingers into her hand. It felt warm, soft and comforting. "Do you love me Jade?"

Fighting off a surge of guilt, Jade answered. "I do, I love you. I wish I told you when you were alive. I just couldn't."

"I love you too Jade." Tori said with a squeeze of her hand.

"I don't deserve you." Jade said quietly in response.

Jade felt a kiss on her cheek which made her spirits rise a bit. "Well Jade, I'm going to sit here and hold your hand until you feel deserving of my love. Until that guilt fades away."

"It may take a while."

Tori giggled. "Well you're in luck as I happen to have the patience of an angel. Probably because I am one. If it takes forever I'll hold your hand or just hold you."

Jade then looked up and for the first time in years was able to see Tori's beautiful brown eyes. "Then what?" Just seeing them, made some of the guilt fade.

Tori smiled. "Then we love each other forever, as we should."

Jade couldn't help but cry. "I'm so sorry Tori. I love you."

Jade could feel Tori's arms wrap around her and for the first time since she was a small child, she felt a measure of peace. She for the first time felt truly loved. The fact that Tori would always be with her and love her felt wonderful.

"I love you Jade." Tori whispered.

Tori knew that Jade's guilt would not fade away overnight. It may take some time, but she had all the time in the universe. All the time to nurse Jade's sickly soul back to health and then spend eternity with the woman she loved.

**I ended the one shot on a very sad note. But I had this idea rattling around my head for some time. So I thought would end it on a positive note. I do like happy endings. **

**I just hope it's not too sappy. The thing is that not all monsters are born, some are made. Should we hate them for what they became or pity them for the good people they were never able to be. **

**The quote from Hamlet is from Act 5, Scene 2**


End file.
